Stop & Savor the Moment

Constantly in a rush? Mulitasking like your life depends on it? Can't seem to put your phone down? Your to do list is a mile long?

This audio post is about what happened to me when I was reaching for my phone, even during a small walk...and what I realized. You'll hear a lovely water fountain in the background that will make sense in the end.

I hope today you'll breath a little slower and deeper. I hope you'll hug your loved ones. I hope you'll take your time in your prayer instead of speeding through it. And I hope you stop and look around at the beauty that is everywhere. There's always time for enjoying the current moment.

Stop & Savor the Moment

Renew Your Intention

A story I like to call: My Kid and the Masjid Meltdown

During Ramadan, I had iftar at the masjid and was dreading the moment it was time to leave. My toddler was beyond sleepy and I was making dua that she doesn't have a full.blown.meltdown. 

When my kids need sleep, they're psycho. Your kids too, maybe? I was preparing myself to be that mom... the one with the crying screaming kid disturbing everyone.

On this particular night, I was taking it step by step with her tryyying to be patient with every step. As I was talking to her, I was also talking to myself inside my head:
Breathe and smile. Your smile will calm her. This phase will pass. Soon she won't be a toddler and these days will be over. Season of life. You can almost touch the door. Just get her shoes on.

But she was fussing even more as we approached the door to put her shoes on. Because toddlers are smart. They know shoes = leaving.

Just then a sister walks by and caught me by surprise. Normally when I pass another mom in a situation like this, I give her a look that says: I feel you. I've been there. You're doing a great job. ...and I keep walking. I expected her to do the same. 

Except she didn't. She smiles and says: Renew Your Intention

Huh? I said. She caught me off guard.

Renew your intention, she repeated

I heard it but I don't get what you mean, I said. I knew what it meant as a phrase. But in this specific situation, what more could I do? I was doing my best to be patient. I was trying to be calm. What was she seeing that I wasn't?

Then she said:
When she gives you a hard time, just renew your intention. Just say to yourself: I'm raising a believer. I'm raising a believer for the sake of Allah. 

Suddenly, my whole body relaxed. I thought I was handling the situation quite well. But reminding myself of that simple fact made all the difference.

Once I "renewed my intention" I wasn't trying to BE calm. I WAS calm. I'm raising a believer, I repeated it to myself. This wasn't a time of motherhood "to get through" "to smile and grin and just get past it already". This was the juice of it. This was where I pull up my sleeves, remind myself of the big picture and say:
I'm raising a believer for the sake of Allah.

And when I see it like that. I feel different. I am different. It's no longer an anoyyance. It's a choice. 

Yes. I AM raising a believer. And when she behaves this way, it's a chance for me to choose again. To remember why I became a mama. It's a chance to remind myself why I'm smiling and being patient. Because I'm raising a believer. It was so simple.

So I want you to walk away with this today:
Renew your intention. In motherhood. In your marriage. In your business. In Islam. And everything else.

I hope this article gives you something you need right now. Please keep the sister who reminded me of this in your prayers and if you'd like to be on my newsletter to get more articles like this, join me here.

What's Going On Deeeeeeep Down?

To get to the bottom of what's going on deeeeep down, sometimes we have to ask ourselves good deep questions.

Why am I mad? What am I really angry about? Why did that comment bother me? What is it I really want? If money wasn't a problem, what would I do?

These questions are not meant to get you to doubt yourself. They are meant to give you information about what's going on inside. This information is the real deal when it comes to communicating clearly.

Sometimes we fight with others for hours never once saying what's really bothering us. We fight about the way he treated you in front of your kids and why he did it and what he should have done and cultural differences and that he is your husband and you should obey........etc, etc, etc, when what you're really mad at is that he disrespected you and that you want it to stop. Never once in that 1 hour argument did you discuss the core of what you want to say:

I'm mad because you disrespected me. Please don't do that again. I will walk away from any conversation where I feel disrespected and will only keep lines of communication open as long as we are both able to be respectful.

Sometimes we go in circles around the real topic. Normally it's because we have not had practice asking ourselves with good questions. And that's all it is. Practice. Start asking yourself deep questions, eventually you'll figure out exactly what question you need to ask to get to the "juice" of what you need to know.

Good Ol' Fashioned Muslimah Support

the others ache... I started this website because of this feeling that Prophet (saw) described. It hurts for me to think that there are sisters out there

:crying tears because of fights with their husband

:struggling to be good Muslimahs when they are being hit by hardship left and right

:fearing if their children are going to turn out OK because of the bad day (year?) they've had

:feeling empty and wondering if this is as good as it's going to get

:lost with how to be a great entrepreneur and balance everything else

:facing a problem that's breaking them down daily

"Each part gives support to the others." that feels so right. That we support one another. I've needed that support before. I will need it again. Find your sisters. The ones that support you when times are hard. They're out there....probably aching and needing you too.

I hope this website is a part of that support and gives you comfort when you need it.